Rants, Raves, and Rice Mania

Coupons and bread? I must be in heaven.


Terra Bread is frequently touted as the #1 bakery in Vancouver when it comes to bread. Since I do most of my own baking these days, this is probably the most bread I've bought in years. Somehow I came across a $5 coupon (on $10+ purchase) for Terra Bread, which is celebrating its 15yr anniversary. I hauled home 3 things:

1. Levain Bread
2. Green Olive demi Baguette
3. Raisin Bread


( the verdict... )

Spent the evening having dinner (La Brasserie on Davie) with my 2 adorable white daughters who are now in their late 20s: Labia, who is a cute gay blind boy of Scandinavian descent from small town Canada, and Rosario, who is a sweet but increasingly bitchy gay Colombian. And yes I gave both of them those nicknames. Both used to be my assistants at work. Now we no longer work at the same teahouse, and it's a feat to get us together. Labia is self-explanatory. She has aspirations to go to Berkeley or Hawaii for grad school and publish some novels. I hope she makes it! Rosario was on a temporary visa when she first came to us. She reminded me of Rosario in Will & Grace: very Latin, very hardworking, and could be asked to do anything on minimum wage. We actually interviewed her but didn't hire her at first. She reminds me of this EVERY time we meet now, and I feel like a bad mother who abandoned her child. I remind her to be thankful that we gave her a job and saved her ass from being deported back to the jungles of Colombia. I always laugh when I see her. How can a Colombian be as pale as an albino and have red hair? She identifies as indigenous because her grandma is indigenous. I told her tonight that grandma was clearly sleeping around then.

It's amazing how times have changed and how we all grow up and move on. Labia bought her own apartment and does pretty much the work that I used to do except with lower pay due to crazy office politics. She also just ended a 2yr stint on a popular soap opera (i.e. relationship with Mexican, full of drama and hot sex). Rosario is a social worker for the government and well-settled with a lawyer boyfriend. They live in a penthouse suite in downtown, where we had Beard Papa cream puffs after dinner (my first beard papa, ok, nothing thrilling). Her master (white boyfriend) is out of town, so that's why she was free to meet with us and invite us back to her colonial mansion. Since the mansion was furnished with fancy furniture and expensive goods, she warned us repeatedly tonight not to steal anything. I reminded her that I don't steal knock-offs.

Rosario works with the police frequently due to her work. I asked her about hot policeman, and she gave me a look of disgust. She said most are unattractive and incredibly ignorant and racist. Once a policeman said to her, "You're an immigrant but you work in social services for the government? How is that possible?"

Yes, as if all ethnic bitches like us should be in a queue to receive food stamps?

We've already taken over the Governor General's Office (Canada's head of state). Get with the program!

All the non-academics can ignore this entry because I'm sure it'll put them to sleep. I came across a problem this weekend that I did not anticipate. I finished a research article and hope to publish it in the near future. The article presents findings from a 6-mth project that I implemented at work. My boss has supported me since Day 1, given me feedback on the design of the project, acted as a good sounding board, and allowed me to bill the hours for writing this article.

Months ago when I said "we will write an article..." she smiled and corrected me, "You mean, YOU will." She was busy and I was happy to run and write the entire article myself. She has always said she will edit it and give me feedback to make this publishable. She also submitted an abstract for a conference with both of our names on it (this was way before the article was written).

I gave her Part I of the draft a few weeks ago and she said it was very good and can't wait to read part 2. Now that part 2 is done, she said she better do some work on it since both of our names are on it.

Both?

That was a surprise to me. I wrote all of it, how can there suddenly be 2 authors now? My understanding was that she would read it, give me feedback, and I go and fix it before pimping it to journals. Unless her definition of "edit" means to totally overhaul my writing and add in her voice, I am not sure how else she can contribute to the text. I expressed some confusion about this to her yesterday, and she was very diplomatic and said she hope I'm not disgruntled. She said it's normal in science (her background) for the supervisor's name to be automatically on it even if the supervisor did not write at all. She also recognized that it's less clear in this case because our project is in social science and that I will still be the first author. Finally, if I prefer, she would back off and let me have sole authorship.

It's really not that I must have sole authorship. I just want the work to be divided (relatively) fairly. I know it's impossible to do a 50/50 split in co-writing, but if it's 90% of my words, how is that co-authorship? I did the entire lit review plus project implementation and follow-up interviews with all the participants.

Or is this the norm in academia? Supervisor provides guidance and verbal support and his/her name automatically goes on the article?

And why did she suddenly want to add her name after reading Part 1? Maybe she discovered it was quite decent and the potential to publish was high?

[In natural sciences, it seems that all PhD students publish with their supervisor's name as co-author regardless if they helped write it or not.]

I'm in the process of cleaning my room and throwing out a lot of junk. Today I discovered a stack of letters that I wrote my mom between the age of 10 to ~13. These letters were written soon after we settled in USA and she was still in Taiwan. Most of it was written in Chinese with increasingly more and more English as time passed. My Chinese comprehension is definitely much LOWER today! Some letters have stickers that I received in school for good behavior/marks stuck on them. My father also had a habit of writing in the white spaces below my letters to minimize the page numbers and save on postage. He's the most frugal person I know. I didn't read all the letters, but it was bizarre to see things I wrote as a child wow-ed by a new world/life. I had forgotten that I kept some of them.

I also discovered a stack of 3.5" computer discs with archival email correspondences during my coming out days (~20-22). I must have been a secretary in a previous life because I'm kind of obsessed about documenting and filing things. I have agenda books dating back 10+ years but most are scribbled with useless things (not diaries). Most of the email files are corrupt, but lots are still readable. I'm too scared to read what I was writing at that age... a quick glance turned up several extremely opinionated passages written to some people I still know today and threads of emails to random guys online. Yikes. I guess things haven't changed. I also found some photos from that time period and of the guy I was seeing at that time (I was early 20s, he was mid 30s). Today he's much older of course, but his recent, significant relationship was with an 18yo. Yes, WTF? Don't get me started on rice queens & aging or aging Asians.

In photos from my roaring 20s, I looked damn skinny at 145 lb. Now I'm 150 to 155 lb and I feel FAT FAT FAT. Ugh, I feel so gross after lunch today. Actually it's not the numbers that bother me, but I would prefer to be more fit. 150 is ideal for me.

Throwing out lots of old clothes too... donating to charity... many hideous, some too small for my belly...

Extremely talented and very cute! I profiled him awhile back: Alexander Rybak, Belarussian origin, raised in Norway, won the recent Norwegian national contest for Eurovision representation, will be in Moscow to compete in the Eurovision. Good luck!

The video above takes you through 3 different videos. He's singing in English but speaking Norwegian to the TV host. The 2nd video says he's singing in Russia (I don't speak Russian, so I can't verify! :) If you're curious what Norwegian sounds like, here's a longer interview of him in Norwegian. I always find Norwegian very melodic, hilarious like yodeling in Swiss alps, and nearly impossible to master as a foreigner! Here's another interview with English subtitles.

Interactive Book, Nobel Peace Center, Oslo

I just bought all my summer flight tickets. Orbitz.com rules! Expedia.ca came close though. Croatia will have to wait for another time. Turkey too.

The Legally Black Tour will kick off in Vancouver May 3, pause temporarily for a secret reconnaissance mission somewhere in N.America, invade pristine northern Norway for 2 wks (camping trip), take up residence in Oslo for most of the summer, then return to Vancouver in July for the finale. Sometime in August, I'll be leaving Vancouver permanently. It's so surreal because I've been wanting to leave this city for years, and now it's actually happening -- not another 1yr foray here and there (Berlin, Oslo) but something much more substantial this time and perhaps permanent. Who knows?

Why Legally Black? It's a tribute to fabulous African-Americans behind steering wheels (or perhaps more poignant if Asians since we have a reputation with driving) as well as a bid to overtake Reese Witherspoon's box office success with Legally Blonde. (No, I'm NOT going to Harvard like her. Already told them no. Didn't get the booty I really wanted.)

I'm also contemplating ending this blog by the end of the summer. There will be lots of changes in my life when Fall arrives. I'm not exactly sure where my verbal diarrhea will appear next in cyberspace or if I'll have the time to blog anymore, but I do feel a facelift is needed. A new page...

OMG, I'm so opening my own bakery. I discovered a new process tonight of making the traditional Norwegian Kransekaker (almond cookie) that simplified the recipe and reduced the time to maybe 1/100 of the original! And it still tastes authentic: crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside. In fact, I think this is the best kransekaker I've made in Canada. B* cannot believe I messed with the recipe and the process. I think he's just jealous I can reproduce this time-honored Norwegian cookie in 30min with clean hands instead of overnight in a sticky mess (powder sugar everywhere).

Thanks to wyllow42 who directed me to almond flour instead of using a food processor to chomp through whole almonds at home! I had no idea that almond flour was 100% almond. I seriously thought there was something else mixed in there. Wheat? Saw dust? Although I find the almond flour too fine for my liking and will probably use a 50/50 mixed in the future using some of my own ground almond. Grainier chunks produce a better texture and nuttier flavor I think.

( mini donut kransekaker :) )

Kudos to Obama for eliminating travel/financial restrictions on Cuba! I can't believe this is actually happening given that these restrictions have been in place since JFK. But if you read the fine line, this actually only applies to Cuban-Americans with family ties to the island and NOT Americans in general. So, the average American still can't hop onto a plane to Cuba to sip some mojitos! Even worse, the trade embargo is still in place. Anyway, it's a good first step, but those in the know say Obama has no intentions to lift the general travel or trade sanctions. Quite disappointing.

The Obama Administration is also refusing to participate in a UN conference on racism taking place in Geneva because the conference is allegedly too anti-Israeli and equates Zionism with racism. OY, give me a friggin' break. We just can't criticize Israel? Hear no evil, speak no evil. People are aghast that the first African-American US president would opt out of a conference on racism.

I can smell the stench of the Washington DC elites working in the background...

Who would have thought that Spanish chorizo can be so delicious? Model Name: Thomas. I want more info!! I found this sausage from one of my favorite blogs: OhLaLaMag.

And for the person named "T" who left behind a comment in my last blog entry about how I only focus on negatives on my blog, go suck on a chorizo! This blog hardly represents everything that goes on in my head or my life, so read it with a grain of salt. If it's too negative or harsh for your delicate sensibilities, by all means stop reading it. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. If you choose to continue reading this blog, look up "metaphor" and "figure of speech" in the dictionary first. When I suggested exiling the architect who built the new Vancouver Convention Centre to the Yukon, that was a figure of speech. And identify yourself next time before I start calling you Twat. T for Twat.

Today I saw our spankin' new mega convention centre both from a distance (while riding the SeaBus) and up close (walking around and on top of it). This place is built in time for the 2010 Olympics. Well, good luck Vancouver because the building looks absolutely UN-inspiring and boring as hell. I guess it does represent this city perfectly then! One would think that a building set to be the media centre for the Olympics and sitting on prime waterfront real estate in downtown would command some creative architecture and leave an indelible mark on visitors. Instead what we get is a large, boxy building that looks like an airplane hangar designed by Walmart. Actually, I thought I was walking by Costco when I visited today. How fabulous considering that this building will probably be the backdrop to countless Olympic broadcasts beamed around the world! To add insult to the injury, this project was budgeted for $495 million but ended up costing $882 million. HOW is that even possible?? The developer and the architect should be exiled to a hut in frigid Yukon.

What can this building boast? Apparently some 6 acres of green, living roof and some bee colonies (cultivated). For $800+ million, I expect far more innovation than a patch of lawn on top and damn bees buzzing around, OK?

I prefer its adjacent neighbor Canada Place with its innovative spires and white sails any day! And Canada Place was built 23yrs ago for Expo 86!

Photos of our new airplane hangar in downtown:
http://www.vancouverconventioncentre.com/thefacilities/image-gallery/

Very very disturbing news from Iraq.... on one hand we can celebrate same-sex marriage victories in Vermont & Iowa, but on the other side of the world they're hunting down gay men like animals...

--------------------
The New York Times
April 8, 2009
Iraq’s Newly Open Gays Face Scorn and Murder
By TIMOTHY WILLIAMS and TAREQ MAHER

BAGHDAD — The relative freedom of a newly democratic Iraq and the recent improvement in security have allowed a gay subculture to flourish here. The response has been swift and deadly.

In the past two months, the bodies of as many as 25 boys and men suspected of being gay have turned up in the huge Shiite enclave of Sadr City, the police and friends of the dead say. Most have been shot, some multiple times. Several have been found with the word “pervert” in Arabic on notes attached to their bodies, the police said.

( continue reading... )

A real conversation between me and my mother last night:

Z: I think we need to throw away this bottle of alcohol (Irish Cream Liquor) because it tastes strange.

Mom: Ok, I'll take it outside tomorrow and water the plants in the garden.

Z: WHAT? It's alcohol! How can you water plants with it? It'll kill it!

Mom: It's just liquid. It'll be good as a fertilizer. Milk and sugar, good for plants.

Z: Stop dumping everything in the garden. It looks disgusting with all the trash you scatter all over it. They take forever to decompose. This is ALCOHOL. Would you water your plants with rubbing alcohol?

Mom: Aiya, calm down. It's not a strong alcohol. Plus, it'll be good to sterilize the soil and make everything clean.

Z: STERILIZE? How can you sterilize dirt? It's full of bacteria. You're going to use Irish Cream to sterilize a plant? This is not pesticide. OK, if your plants die next week, don't come asking me why.

I've always known these as zhong zi (mandarin) or bah zhang (taiwanese). They're generally eaten in May (lunar calendar) for a festival, but my Mom just made these last week. It's basically meat & mushrooms wrapped with glutinous rice (sweet rice) and boiled. I want to say the leaves come from bamboo trees but they seem far too broad. As far as I can remember, we've always made these at home rather than buy them from stores. I also find these things to be extremely family-specific. Our family generally adds peanuts or flava beans with the rice. We also tend to eat it with soya and raw, minced garlic on top. Other people have given us their homemade zhong zi, and I can honestly say they all taste WEIRD. My palate has been trained to eat our own version.

Not sure what you would call these in English... Sticky rice wraps? Rice grenades? Rice pyramids? Then again who cares what they're called in English? Some things just can't be translated...

I HEART glutinous rice! STICKY STICKY rice! :) I would eat glutinous over regular rice everyday if I could, but apparently they're not good for digestion.

( more photos )

Funny that my last blog entry elicited some strong views about race discourse even though it's not one of my verbal diarrheas on race. Namely, some people felt that I often talk about race when there is no scientific basis for race and we're all just ONE race: human race.

As I was jogging around a lake this afternoon, it suddenly occurred to me that the people who prefer not to talk about race ("because there's no such a thing") are often white. I've never heard a visible minority person say, "Hey, let's not talk about race because it doesn't exist, ok?" I CANNOT imagine my ex (Black) to ever say such a thing. He's very civil, but I would imagine some visible minorities telling you to F-off if you ask them why they always talk about race. Although one of my close friends (Asian) does say I'm often obsessed about race. I suspect it's because he was born in UK, grew up speaking English, and grew up in multiracial Vancouver with lots of Asians. I hail from an ESL/immigrant past in Midwest USA where I knew at an early age that I was clearly an OUTSIDER. I think people who don't want to talk about race are in very privileged positions and have no clue what racism is about.

I was once in a diversity workshop where a handful of participants refused to proceed because race has no scientific basis according to them. This rebellious splinter group spent all its time dissing the concept of race while other groups discussed the ramifications of diversity. Everyone was a trained sociologist in the room, so you would think they knew a thing or two about the sociological impact of race. Finally one participant got very fed up and said to the splinter group, "Sure there is no scientific basis to race, but frankly I'm not sure how denial will get us anywhere. You can intellectualize it all you want, but your arguments do absolutely NOTHING to help the people who are discriminated everyday based on race!"

Lastly, the reason I mentioned my white colleague living in an ueber white neighborhood in Vancouver in the last entry is that this is a city that is incredibly multiracial. I believe the last census count put the city at 40% non-white. One of our suburbs, Richmond, is actually 60% non-white already. Whites are no longer the majority there! So, in this context, I always find it bizarre when I meet Vancouverites whose social circles are mono-racial. How can you possibly have ONLY white (or asian) friends in a city like Vancouver? If we don't even have racially mixed social circles, how the hell can we even begin to understand other cultures, let alone co-exist on earth?

People talk about ethnic enclaves all the time. Funny how this is often directed at immigrants who "refuse to integrate" into their host countries. What about white flight? There are lots of white folks in Vancouver who recede further and further west of the city (i.e. affluent, white). I was walking through Kitsilano the other day with 2 coworkers. The Jewish (white) one said, "I cannot imagine living here. It's so WHITE! It's weird!" The Indo-Canadian chimed in, "And they all dress the same and have the same haircuts!"

Go read al1835's insightful comments in my last entry. I totally agree with him. And he's not even a visible minority! ;-P So it's not just the ranting minority here...

For some reason my eyes have been very sore the last 2 days. I think it's from a combination of lack of sleep and staring at the computer too long. I can't look at the computer for more than 30min today without feeling uncomfortable. Has anyone experienced this?

I also have a headache and runny nose....

Watched Revolutionary Road last night (even though I should be resting my eyes)... it's a slow movie but I can TOTALLY relate to Kate Winslet's character. FEAR of a pedestrian suburbian life and watching life pass by! Years ago I used to work closely with a colleague (white female) who was around my age, energetic, and fiercely independent. We got along very well and had lots of fun at work. She has since transferred to another office, gotten married, and had her first child (white husband). They live in Kitsilano, which is probably the WHITEST neighborhood in Vancouver. I just learned yesterday that she gave birth to her 2nd child. So, not only are they the epitome of WASP but also HETERO-normality. I already feel quite distant from her in the last few years since her marriage and kid, but now a 2nd kid and in the enclave of whiteness in Vancouver? What can I talk to her about? Lactation and crumpets?

Do you have friends who ran off, got married, popped out several kids, and can't stop talking about their clones?

It's bizarre how people's lives change within the span of a few years and become unrecognizable from their past... maybe that's me in a few years steeped in PhD work? When people start talking about their kids, I'll start talking about mine (my thesis).

Gruyere Cheese Grilled Sandwich

On my eternal quest for a waffle iron that can produce Norwegian waffles (thicker than crepe but much thinner than a Belgian waffle), I came across an amazing machine at a thrift store while browsing with my daughter (formerly Hotlunch).

I was tempted to return it after testing it out because it produces fairly thick waffles that are nothing like Norwegian ones. However, I tried grilling a sandwich in it and it was AMAZING. I can now make my own damn panini just like cheap take-out places all over Paris.

The same machine is listed on eBay ranging from $20 (sold) to $125 (unsold). It is produced circa 1976 according to one website.

I paid $8 for it.


( more photos )

Oy va voy, Harvard is offering a scholarship worth $10,900 USD. Harvard??? Lil 'ol me from the rice paddies of Taiwan?

But given that their tuition is 34k per year and the estimated cost of living for 1yr in Boston is $24k (their estimate), this is a measly 17% of the total expense. Do I look like one of Ferdinand Marcos' descendants with multiple Swiss accounts?

If this were last year when I felt like a Malawian orphan that no one wanted (rejected by one Ivy, accepted by a Canadian with zero funding), I might consider going to Boston and working on street corners to make ends meet. Lesson for today: Louis Vuitton Harvard isn't everything. I'm truly content with my Samsonite.

Prague, CZ
Nov 10, 2006

I'm not entirely sure where to begin because I'm still too stunned to really comprehend what happened yesterday. I had just finished lunch with a colleague and my mobile starting ringing. My mother hollered on the other end, "OH MY!! OH MY!! I think..."

I thought for sure some accident had happened at home, and she was freaking out. "I think X just accepted you!!! I'm reading the letter!"

I shouted back, "Are you SURE? Maybe you're not translating right."

She replied, "My English is NOT that bad, ok? Plus, there are several sheets in this letter and one is a red sheet. Red is LUCKY remember? And the package is very BIG. Why would they send you a BIG package? Oh yah, and there's a 2nd package from Harvard. I haven't opened that, don't know what they want since we already know their decision."

After about 10min of frantic Taiwanese mixed with English and both of us sounding like we were talking to a 911 operator, I asked her to calm down and fax me the letter from University X so I could read it myself. [For privacy reasons, I am not going to reveal X.]

The gist of it is that I miraculously got into my dream school with a guaranteed funding package for 4 years. Tuition? Waived of course :) This school has a policy of funding ALL their full-time PhD students with a guaranteed financial package. I don't think it's enough to cover living expenses 100% but it's far more than what many other schools can provide. The bottom line is that I'll be paid to pursue a PhD. That's whacked!

To add icing on the cake, the supervisor they assigned to me is a world renown scholar in my field. She used to be the president of the international organization for my field. I met her last year in a conference and had corresponded with her before being accepted. She was very supportive and liked the idea I was pitching for a PhD. She moves in that rarefied VIP crowd in academia. It's as if they gave me Mother Teresa as my supervisor (widely respected and revered). My only concern is that she may retire in a few years. But as my biggest cheerleader in Vancouver (my master degree advisor) said, "Who cares? You're IN! You can switch advisor later!" It's reassuring that University X is 1) large, 2) prestigious, and 3) has numerous experts in my field.

I think I can relate to what soldiers mean by "shell shock" now. Since finding out this news, I've sat and stared into space for eternity like Jodi Foster in Nell. I tried to work yesterday (writing an article for publication) and couldn't string together 2 sentences. Last night I couldn't really sleep. When I woke up this morning, I immediately looked for the acceptance letter and re-read it just to make sure. Is this real? The two profs who wrote my reference letters were ecstatic when I told them in person. One got her PhD from the SAME school AND department as the one I'm headed for. A few colleagues know. I have this strong urge to kiss everyone I see on the streets. Is this how people feel when newborns arrive?

It's strange how one letter can change a person's world completely. Just a few days ago I was actually quite depressed thinking, "Oh my gawd, what the hell am I going to do if I get rejected AGAIN this year ? Where do I go from here? I don't have anymore tricks!" I also had regular and increasing flashbacks of my failed attempts at getting into medicine 10 yrs ago. 3 consecutive years, 2 schools, 2 trans-atlantic flights, 10 exhaustive interviews followed by successive rejections psychologically scarred me for several years.

This will sound corny but I actually made a goal as a teenager that I would be a "doctor" one way or the other -- be it a MD or a PhD. I was such a NERD. I AM a certified nerd now. This "doctor" dream died several years ago when my ambitions waned and I fell into a rut of daily routines. Occasionally I remembered this "doctor" dream and scoffed at it in my head. It's only in the last few years that routines and mediocrity began to terrify me. A sign of aging?

For the first time in many MANY years, I actually feel hope and excitement about the future even though this is a bittersweet victory. B* will still be far from me. But he is incredibly supportive of my ambitions and I still have DREAMS for us. If you're still reading, I hope you are inspired to chase your own dreams.

YES WE CAN :)

Sometimes you wonder what kind of world we live in and if governments and public figures should be prosecuted for stupidity and locked up...

I find it shocking that South Africa just banned the Dalai Lama from attending a conference on anti-racism due to pressures from China. Yes, South Africa of all countries that should know a thing or two about racism! Similarly, the Taiwanese Government experiences this kind of marginalization worldwide on a daily basis thanks to China's deep-pocket lobbying. Kudos to those who have spoken out against South Africa's ban of the Dalai Lama: Desmond Tutu, FW de Clerk, and the Norwegian Nobel Committee!

Pope Benedict recently said that the AIDS epidemic is "a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which can even increase the problem." WHAT THE FUCK? I'm sorry but not only is that comment so ludicrous and ignorant but it warrants a bitch-slap censorship. This isn't just your average Joe speaking, but a leader worshiped by 100s of millions spreading misinformation that can endanger lives. I mean is this justifiable because he's a religious leader? What if a medical doctor or school teacher says that?